Letters To My Heart
Introduction
(Begun at around 11:14 PM, on 9-8-2011, at the Red Poppy, drinking Yerba Mate and Smoking Flavored Tobacco in a Hookah)
As we near the anniversary of 9/11/01 and a time of great change in my life as well as my country I find that I want to be more open to intimacy and love. Somewhere, along my life's path, I have lost this ability. After listening to friends, doctors and meditating on writing's power to heal my thinking and emotional wounds I have decided to write letters to the people and places that linger in my thoughts. I will write the letters in ink on paper first, then enter them into my blog with links to Facebook, the new, 500 million member, electronic nation that spans the globe. My, perhaps selfish, reason for doing this is that I want to get healthier. At times this means that I may hurt others. I will try to limit the damage I do but I feel a need to reach those whose location I do not know, in the hope they will contact me if I owe them amends or if we can renew old friendships. I will write as I remember things. I will only use initials to provide some anonymity, but I must delve into some of the specifics if those involved are to know how to contact me. I mean no one any harm. I truly do not. I simply wish to find a way to reach those I owe amends and to heal the emptiness inside of me, that haunts me, that keeps me from intimacy with my fellows. My writing of these letters gives me concrete evidence that I am making an effort to heal. I have learned that I cannot heal by myself, and that it is best to share my experience – some will benefit, some will feel pain, likely most will not give a hoot. But based on my limited knowledge of the human brain and psychology it would appear that the type of sharing I am talking about can be a healing process for me and those I have harmed, if we have the courage to be both kind and honest.
Peace to all who read these lines. Love to all I have harmed. I beg forgiveness of any whom I have hurt along my path. I invite others to use writing honestly about their lives as a tool if they find it useful. If you know of something about me that will reveal more of my character and its many flaws please share it openly that I may work to address it.
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Revised and Reposted to Blogger and Facebook, from Old Capitol Mall, Iowa City, Iowa 9-13-2011, approximately 9 am CST.
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