Friday, May 01, 2009

Too Many Worms

A fine mist descends from the grey sky as I pull into the parking lot for the Bluebird Cafe, my favorite restaurant. I open the car door and almost step on a worm. It has been raining and the poor creature has had to leave its burrow to avoid drowning. I try to pick it up with my fingers. My victim writhes and shrinks trying to get away. After dropping her (him?...aren't worms hermaphrodites?) several times I slide my car key beneath her and lift her into my hand. I walk to an island of grass in the parking lot and carefully deposit my ward and head back toward the restaurant. I almost step on another worm. Once more I perform my key scrape rescue and free another annelid from almost certain death. Yet again I turn toward the restaurant and yet again I see another worm, actually two more. A scrape of key and a few steps saves the pair. And, yes, you guessed it...as I turn toward the restaurant a third time there are more worms. This process is repeated several more times before hunger overcomes my altruism and I make it to my favorite table...the one in the corner, framed with two huge windows. The sun glints on the table top and Laura comes over with a cup of coffee and a place setting. I order eggs and bacon and consider the fate of worms.

How many worms should I have saved? Should I have spent my morning saving every worm I could find? Should I have not even bothered to save one? Did I in fact save any? I noticed several robins watching my activities very closely. Did my efforts simply make a robin breakfast buffet?

The arrival of eggs and bacon interrupts my woolgathering. I dine on aborted chicks and slices of an animal said to taste the most like humans (some cannibal tribes once called humans "long pig" because we taste like pork). Where is my sense of morals now? Are chicks and pigs less noble than worms? I have no answer for my hypocrisy of saving worms while dining on pigs. I can offer no explanation or rationalization for my worm saving behavior. I realize that it is impossible to save all the worms and thus in one sense my efforts are futile and insignificant. However, even though my actions were a failure in the grand scheme of things...even though they were hypocritical in that I saved one creature while eating another...they still may have some importance and value. Just ask the worms I did save.