Penultimate

Once I was told that Penultimate meant the next to the last one. Let us hope this is not so.

Too Many Worms

A fine mist descends from the grey sky as I pull into the parking lot for the Bluebird Cafe, my favorite restaurant. I open the car door and almost step on a worm. It has been raining and the poor creature has had to leave its burrow to avoid drowning. I try to pick it up with my fingers. My victim writhes and shrinks trying to get away. After dropping her (him?...aren't worms hermaphrodites?) several times I slide my car key beneath her and lift her into my hand. I walk to an island of grass in the parking lot and carefully deposit my ward and head back toward the restaurant. I almost step on another worm. Once more I perform my key scrape rescue and free another annelid from almost certain death. Yet again I turn toward the restaurant and yet again I see another worm, actually two more. A scrape of key and a few steps saves the pair. And, yes, you guessed it...as I turn toward the restaurant a third time there are more worms. This process is repeated several more times before hunger overcomes my altruism and I make it to my favorite table...the one in the corner, framed with two huge windows. The sun glints on the table top and Laura comes over with a cup of coffee and a place setting. I order eggs and bacon and consider the fate of worms.

How many worms should I have saved? Should I have spent my morning saving every worm I could find? Should I have not even bothered to save one? Did I in fact save any? I noticed several robins watching my activities very closely. Did my efforts simply make a robin breakfast buffet?

The arrival of eggs and bacon interrupts my woolgathering. I dine on aborted chicks and slices of an animal said to taste the most like humans (some cannibal tribes once called humans "long pig" because we taste like pork). Where is my sense of morals now? Are chicks and pigs less noble than worms? I have no answer for my hypocrisy of saving worms while dining on pigs. I can offer no explanation or rationalization for my worm saving behavior. I realize that it is impossible to save all the worms and thus in one sense my efforts are futile and insignificant. However, even though my actions were a failure in the grand scheme of things...even though they were hypocritical in that I saved one creature while eating another...they still may have some importance and value. Just ask the worms I did save.

Dorothy

She sits in Uptown Bill's each morning dispensing words of wisdom.

"I'm here because I'm not all there."

I am glad that she is here. The warmth of her smile is beyond my knowledge and her laughter brushes the spiderwebs from my heart.

Thank you Dorothy.

Cirque de Dale

This picture has many dots. Some people call them stipples. I do not.

This picture started out to be many things to many people. Poor picture. It does not know that no one can be everything to everybody without ending up in the hospital. Wait. Perhaps that is its plan. In the hospital you eat three times a day and sleep in a clean bed. The way things are going with the economy perhaps the picture simply wants a bit of security. The hospital is not my cup of tea but who am I to judge others?

Sometimes my brain chases dots across a page. Sometimes dots are blue. Sometimes purple. Sometimes pink. Sometimes black. Other times the page is blank and so is my mind.

Keira and Caroline

This is a picture of my granddaughter Keira and my daughter Caroline. They are beautiful. I can't think of anything else to add.

Joe and Keira

Joe and Keira are looking at you. Well, actually it is just dots. Joe and Keira are in Florida. They probably do not even know you are looking at them.

This was supposed to be funnier. It is not.

JAX Beach Dunkin Donuts

I drew this while I was in Dunkin Donuts in Jacksonville Beach, Florida. Must have been something it the powdered sugar on the donuts.

Confused Cow

This cow is confused...unless it knows how to eat snow. But then, it had the good sense not to drive around taking pictures of confused cows.

Strange Image from My Point of View

This image is strange. I mean it no offense by calling it so. I also am strange. But then strangeness depends on one's point of view I guess. I once had a point of view. I cherished it deeply. Then one day my point of view poked me in the eye. We parted ways after that. I have not heard from it for some time. Rumor has it that my point of view migrated to Rio De Janeiro and learned Portuguese. I have no way of verifying that fact. If you happen to encounter my point of view someday, please let it know that I wish it well in its new life.

I Sing (Poorly)

A friend challenged me to sing the British national anthem, "God Save The Queen". Foolishly, I accepted the challenge. Apologies to music lovers around the world, and to all my British friends.

Bill's Fly

This fly is out of perspective for the size of the table. It is much too large. In order to match the perspective of the fly the table would have to be larger than a city block. My ego is much like the fly.

Blue Lamp

This is a picture of a lamp. Trust me.

Scenes From The Mall

I spend a lot of time at a place called Uptown Bill's Small Mall. Uptown Bill's is a place that helps people with disabilities. It helps them start and run their own businesses and it gives them a safe place to just "be". We even let "normal" people come in - as long as they buy something! ;-)

These are some of the people who hang out at the Mall with me. Apologies to long time viewers of my blog for the repetition.

Dr. Tom

Here is Dr. Tom Walz, former Dean and current Professor Emeritus of the University of Iowa School of Social Work. He is the founder of the Mall. Our lives would be very much poorer without him. All of us love him very much. He loves himself very much as well.

Miss Dorothy

This is Miss Dorothy. She keeps Dr. Tom in line. At least she tries too. Here she is holding up her keys. I know it is difficult to "see" the keys. Dorothy uses her key chain to store all the dozens of "momentos" and toys that she has collected over the years. Trust me, there are keys in there somewhere.

Close up of Dorothy's key chain.

Happy Lynn

This is Lynn Borders. She opens the Mall and runs it Monday through Friday from 7 - 10 a.m. She often plays a brain-teaser game. She says it helps her keep her mind agile and quick. Perhaps I should play the brain-teaser game. But then what would I do if my mind were agile and quick? The shock might be too much for my system.

Boppin' Bob

Here's my friend Bob. He works at the Mall many times throughout the week. He is kind, friendly, and has a great sense of humor. He's a good role model. I have a pretty good sense of humor but I am not always good at the kind and friendly part. Oh well. I will have to make up the gap with my good looks and great singing voice.

Dave's Chair

Chair At Dave's Restaurant

This is the seat of a chair outside of Dave's Restaurant at the corner of Linn St. and Iowa Avenue in Iowa City, Iowa, Zip Code 52333, United States of America, Planet Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy. It waits patiently for the bottom of a person interested in eating Ethiopian cuisine. It is very clean.

Blue Brains

Some people said they thought this was a self portrait. I was insulted. This fellow has no mouth. I have a mouth. Besides that his brains are blue.

A Jarring Picture

Someone said that this picture was "jarring". I suppose it is jarring. It also is very colorful. Children, let us focus on the colors. That way we can be saved.

IMG009

My scanner named this picture "IMG009". I cannot tell if this name stands for "Image Number 9", or if it stands for "I'm GOO 9". I do not understand the name. That is okay. I do not understand the image either.

Coffee Lid

This began as a lid on a cup that held a special coffee that I had never tasted before. The light bounced off the lid. It went through my eyes to my brain. My armed jiggled and this is the result. I am not sure that special coffee is healthy for me.

Secret of Love

Larry burst into flames when he found the secret of true love. This phenomena has happened to me many times. You would think that my skin would be very tan from all the fires rather than pasty white. Luckily I remembered to wear suntan lotion. I recommend something with a SPF rating of 20-30, depending on the intensity of the romance.

Iowa City Street

I am in Iowa City. These are pieces of Iowa City I saw from Tate's Coffee shop across from the Iowa City Library. It is not unusual for me to see things in pieces. Integration is difficult for me.

Parthenids

Parthenids inspired this picture. I do not know who the Parthenids are...but their taste in art is questionable. I shall do my best to resist their inspiration in the future.

Pieces of Starbucks

This image came from a triple venti no-whip Mocha (TVNWM). Too many TVNWMs can cause brain damage. I am planning a class action suit. Email me if you suffer from TVNWM-itis.

Too Much Coffee Again

When I created this picture it made sense to me.

Now it does not.

The picture will have to find its own meaning.

It will have to become an existentialist.

Strange Trees

These trees are facsimiles. It is a rare breed of trees. They are not very viable.

High Society

This lady does not look happy. I don't know why. All she has to do is to lay around all day. I mean after all, how hard a life is it to be a picture? She had better behave or else I will erase her.

Bored

I have no idea why I created this. Boredom is a source of strange creations. Perhaps you will be bored enough to click on image, view a larger version and read what I have written on the drawing. Perhaps not. In either case I am too bored to care. I will go take a nap now.

Man In Plaza

This picture appeared to me while sitting in a coffee shop. I did not ask for it. It just came. Sometimes pictures are very forward...pushy even.

On The Nature of Cats

This picture is about the nature of cats. The caption reads:

Soon the cats will come,
On their tiny little feet.
They will lick their bottoms.
It will not be pleasant.

At the top are three cats. The last one is saying, "Why am I always the last one?" The first one, on the peak of the line, is saying, "Meow."

Why these cats are saying these things I do not know. They did not ask for advice. They did not even ask for permission to speak. I think they are rude little beasties. Don't you?

My friend, Scott Parker has suggested an alternative version of the poem that I like much better:

Soon the cats will come,
On their tiny little feet.
They will lick their bottoms.
For tasty little treats.

Unfortunately, the cats have hidden the picture. I cannot change it. Pesky cats!

Unfinished

This picture is not finished. At least that is what I thought when I looked at it months ago when I put it aside. The other day when I saw it again...it was finished. It seems to have a mind of its own.

Domo Arigato Japan

I made this picture while thinking of my visit to Japan. I met some very kind people while I was there. I do not know why the Japanese lady is leaning to the left in my picture. Maybe she is confused by the purple sky behind her head.

Explosion

Maybe I had too much coffee. This morning I feel like bursting from my skin. I am fairly certain that this would be unpleasant. I will wait until tomorrow.

INDIA Day 1 Mumbai

Hey everybody. I am in India. Here is my first video. More to come.

This lady had a large bottom. Her friend did not have a large bottom. She is sitting in a blue chair. Her friend is floating in air.

I have it on good authority that this is how insanity begins.

December Morning

A video from my ride the morning after Christmas

Curtains and Things

Photographic odds and ends.

Dale Out West The Movie

September 2006. First trip to the West.

DOTS

Some of my art work.

Daily Intelligence Briefing???

PRESIDENT BUSH'S PERSONAL COPY OF DECLASSIFIED DAILY INTELLIGENCE BRIEFING FOR AUGUST 6th, 2001

Easter Sunday Statement by the President

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning, and Happy Magical Resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Day. Yesterday, after weeks and weeks of listening to nosey reporters whine while my approval ratings sank into the crapper, I made a decision – which despite the fact that I said I'd never do it should NOT be interpreted as a Kerryesque "flip-flop" – to release one of my super-secret Presidential Daily Briefings. Now this particular PDB, entitled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US," was read aloud to me by Condi Rice on August 6th, 2001 – the same exact day I was due to leave for my first of many well-deserved month-long vacations at my luxury ranch in Texas. Well today, I trust that the American people will agree I did the right thing, when after glancing over that ridiculously vague memo filled with specific references to a domestic al Qaeda attack, I promptly skipped town for thirty fun-filled days of golf, jogging, and naps. Thank you.

Wonder When It Will End?

The Faces of War

War only creates more war.

The Day King George Was Crowned...

God?

Richard Dawkins on BBC News

Excellent

George W on Jeff Foxworthy Roast

Torture In American Prisons Under Bush's Watch In Texas

Guess we know where Abu Ghraib started...Texas!

Dale Out West THE END

This is the Nebraska national forest. Many years ago there were many trees in Nebraska. Some of the trees (like the Nebraska mountains) migrated elsewhere out of boredom. The rest were eaten by Lumber Cows: a rare bovine species with a love of bark and twigs.

Well...actually the tree on the right is the forest. The tree on the left is one planted by Homeland Security. The plan is that the tree on the left will become large enough to hide the tree on the right (aka the Nebraska National Forest) from terrorists. Terrorists will not be able to see the forest for the tree.

Homeland Security has good intelligence that the Nebraska National Forest is one of the top targets on Al Qaeda's hit list. The forest is being targeted by WMDs that Al Qaeda got from Iraq?...or was that Iran?...or Pakistan?...or North Korea? It seems that the entire world has WMDs and they are angry at us. I am glad that Homeland Security has the presence of mind to proctect a treasure like the Nebraska National forest.


The Iowa sunrise...the best sunrise because it is home. And that's all I have to say about that.

Dale Out West Part 13

This is the Mormon Tabernacle in Salt Lake City. Many Mormons were there. I did not take their pictures. It is believed that taking a Mormon's picture steals their soul. Sorry Mormons...I apologize. I could not help myself. The devil made me do it.

This picture is of the Bonneville Salt Flats. Many world speed records have been set there. The only vehicles I saw there were the campers of rednecks who ignored the signs asking them not to drive on the Salt Flats. Sorry rednecks...I apologize. I could not help myself. A Mormon made me do it.

This mountain is in Utah near Salt Lake City. It migrated here from Nebraska. Sorry Nebraska...I apologize. I could not help myself. A redneck Mormon made me do it.

This Utah Mountain is an illegal immigrant from Nebraska. The mountain picks fruit and sends most of its money back to Nebraska. Sorry immigrants...I apologize. I could not help myself. A hillbilly from Arkansas (aka Dale Hankins) made me do it. He will be punished. He will not be allowed to eat purple hull peas (his favorite) for a month.

Dale Out West Part 12

This mountain is in Wyoming. I believe that it moved there from Nebraska. Nebraska is too flat and boring for mountains.

This Wyoming Mountain also moved from Nebraska. Real estate prices are soaring in Wyoming. Many mountains have migrated there.


This sunrise if from Nevada. Where did it come from? Can you guess? Correct...it migrated from Nebraska.

Dale Out West Part 10

These rocks are at the bottom of a stream. They are under six feet of water. The water is very clear. It is not clear why I took a picture of rocks.

This fallen redwood tree is at least 300 feet long. I think 300 feet is the length of a football field. I do not think that this redwood could play football. It is dead.

This is a mountain in Nevada. The white line in front of the mountain is a salt flat. The white thing in back of the mountain is a cloud.